Trinity Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.)

Sermons 

Title: "Striving for Perfection? . . . Stop It!"

Text: Proverbs 31:10-31

This morning, I unexpectedly have another opportunity to preach on this Twenty-Fifth Sunday in Ordinary Time. After discussing the situation with Rev. Julie yesterday, we decided that I would go ahead with her sermon title for this Sunday. What might she have been inspired to share with us about the text for this morning? Perhaps, three years from now, we will find out. In the meantime, let us consider the text from Proverbs 31:10-31.

But, before we deal with this text, a comment is in order. It strikes me that, in our contemporary era, this text is much easier for a female preacher to examine than it is for a male preacher – especially when the male preacher’s spouse might be sitting in the pews. What man would be foolish enough to tackle the issues presented in this long passage on the characteristics of "a capable wife"? This is a dangerous field, far trickier to plow than such problematic topics like the Trinity, immaculate conception, and the relative importance of faith and works.

That said, let us venture into this field and see what land mines we encounter. Before we begin, let me invite you to open one of the Bibles in the pew racks to Proverbs 31, which you will find on page 586 in the Old Testament. I remind you that you have in hand the Revised Standard Version, while our earlier reading was from the New Revised Standard Version. As is often true, the similarities and differences in these translations illuminates the meaning of the text. Consider verse 10: The RSV states "A good wife who can find?" while the NRSV says "A capable wife who can find?" In effect, "good" is equated with "capable." The two translations differ in no other significant respect until verse 28, where the RSV says, "Her children rise up and call her blessed…," while the NRSV gives, "Her children rise up and call her happy…" Here we have a linkage between "blessed" and "happy." These two sets of parallel words represent the only significant differences between the RSV and NRSV in this very long passage. Compared to many other texts that you might pick at random from the scriptures, this is pretty amazing. This suggests that this text is straightforward and uncomplicated; and further suggests that the committee responsible for the RSV and the committee later responsible for the NRSV were very much in agreement about how we should understand these texts in English.

Still, these two significant differences are very revealing. Do we agree that a "good" wife is a "capable" wife? Perhaps we should consider some of the other standard translations. The ASV says "worthy woman," the KJV "virtuous woman," the NIV "a wife of noble character," and the NJB "the truly capable woman." Even more illuminating is the Septuagint, the early Greek version of the text. The two Greek words used there are best translated into English as "a manly woman."

Now we are getting somewhere. Clearly, the ancient author of Proverbs was an ancestor of Professor Henry Higgins. I’m sure you remember when, very near the end of in the 1964 movie My Fair Lady (based on G. B. Shaw’s play, Pygmalion), Rex Harrison, who played Henry Higgins had this to say: "Why can’t a woman be more like a man?"

When men – ancient or modern – make a list of the most important characteristics of a woman (or wife), we seem to be obsessed with finding a strong and tireless worker. This gives new meaning to the term from Genesis "helpmate," don’t you agree?

Look through all of the terms used in this long passage from Proverbs, and you will see how many are related to "strength" and "works." But, don’t stop there. Try to calculate what a typical week in the life of such a "good and capable" woman/wife would require:

· She seeks wool and flax, and works it with willing hands.

· She brings in food from great distances.

· She gets up before the sun rises, to prepare food for her household.

· She buys property, and plants a vineyard there.

· She is a competent weaver.

· She makes the clothing for everyone in her household, and sells clothes to merchants.

· She cares for the poor and needy.

· She offers wise counsel and teaches kindness.

· She does not waste time in idleness.

· And in her spare time, she does curls – not of her hair, but exercises to make "her arms strong."

This sounds like a fantastic list. Yet, I would tell you that there are billions of women in this world who do these tasks every week. In the village in Mexico where I do my field work as an anthropologist, I know many of them who rise before the dawn to prepare tortillas, make the food for the members of their households, and during the day do all of these described here. And they certainly have no time for idleness. And then they do it all again the next day, and the next day, and the next day. It is quite amazing.

Last night, while writing this sermon, I happened on the television channel called "WE," which was carrying a broadcast of "Mrs. America 2006." Mrs. New York, one of the ten semi-finalists in the formal-wear competition, offered comments that remind me of Proverbs 31. Here are her exact words:

"I practice law in New York; I have a black belt in karate; I have a family; I am writing a book right now; and I ride a dirt bike. I do all these things, and I think that Mrs. America should be what I consider a Renaissance woman."

Mrs. New York is not alone in her belief that a "Mrs. America" should be a "Renaissance woman." Our top-ranked universities are full of women who have been raised by their mothers and fathers to compete not just with other women, but with all the men in their classes. Throughout their lives, these women have been groomed by their parents and by their teachers to be "Renaissance women." But where is the joy in such a life? Instead of joy, many women attending American universities suffer from such serious illnesses as anorexia, bulimia, depression, and even suicide.

We Americans seem to be taking the author of Proverbs far too seriously. We seem to be committed to the proposition that "good and capable" women must labor endlessly in pursuit of goals set out by men. Listen again to Proverbs 31:23, "Her husband is known in the city gates, taking his seat among the elders of the land." What does her husband do to be seated among the elders? He has a wife who is driven to work incessantly for their household, and he reaps the credit.

Such women emerge not only from Proverbs, but from elsewhere in the scriptures. Of course, the most important of all is that the servant women named Mary, mother of Jesus. For some two thousand years, Mary has been held up as a model for Christian women. Self-sacrifice is her reason for being. In Mexico, where I work as an anthropologist, they have a term "la madre abnegada," which can be translated into English as "the self-suffering mother," and is ascribed to "good women." Similar self-sacrifice has been expected of all Christian women.

I remember, in growing up, that my mother would go and buy a whole chicken for the family and would cut it up into pieces. And perhaps some of you had a similar experience. My father got the breast, my sisters and I were given legs and thighs, and my mother took the back. And she would say, "Oh, it has the best meat on it." And only years later did I come to understand that there was a hierarchy in pieces of chicken – and she was taking the last. That is self-sacrifice.

Returning to the Mrs. America pageant, consider this question asked of Mrs. Utah, one of the six finalists in last night’s Mrs. America 2006 pageant: "What should Mrs. America see when she looks in the mirror?" This was one of the questions written by the contestants themselves that might be asked of the finalists. Her reply was very much in line with Proverbs 31, verse 28:

"Mrs. America should see somebody that is happy, who has joy, and I believe that we find this by doing service to other people and having gratitude, even if it’s something very small. This is something that I found that works in my life. And when I look in the mirror, I see somebody who is truly happy."

It appears that "Mrs. America 2006" is all about being a constantly working, Renaissance woman made truly "happy" by doing service to other people. The author of Proverbs must be one of the script writers for this pageant, don’t you think? But there is a problem here.

Christianity, especially in the Reformed tradition, proclaims that life, in the here and now, is not about our good works, but about the good love that God offers to us. Life, for all eternity, is not something that we earn through our works; it is a gift from God.

The author of Proverbs and the sponsors of Mrs. America 2006 (and I might add, in parentheses, that most of the sponsors of the program were companies selling products that promise to make women beautiful or to lose weight) not only ask too much of women, they actually diminish their value as human beings in that request. And, to the extent that men encourage women to follow this path, men diminish themselves as human beings. Both women and men need to take seriously the possibilities of one of our most famous confessions. It is the first question in the Larger (Westminster) Catechism: "What is the chief and highest end of humankind?" The answer we all memorized in our youth was "Humankind’s chief and highest end is to glorify God, and fully to enjoy God forever."

This answer does not state that our "chief and highest end" is to work without ceasing on behalf of our families, the poor, and the needy.

Take a rest. Meditate. Think about God. On behalf of Rev. Julie and all the rest of us who spend too much time trying to do too much, I close by saying to you, "Are you Striving for Perfection? . . . Stop It!" Amen.